Unrepentant

Dear Big Lady

FGS you iz do not let me have any fun EVER, do you?

iz KNOW you said not go out on own, but nice fence man next door did helpfully take fence down and did helpfully leave garden gate open so i iz did ASSUME you iz would not mind if went for stroll.

first iz did go for mooch round lake.  much more fun not on BORING lead.  tear around. sniff all disgusting unidentified manky items without you say "LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE YUCK STOP IT" all bleedin' time.

then did meet nice lady, say "hmm iz you lost, most beautifullest doglet what i hav ever seen?" (she did, she DID say, honest), and i iz did think MAYBE she hav sosijs so went with nice lady and she dog, had playdate at she house.  iz was hav fun.  independent doglet.  interesting stuff not BORING like at home.

then you iz did turn up, before even got CHANCE to find out if any sosijs.  cannot believe it.  missed opportunity, now will never know.

you iz OWE me sosijs.  AT LEAST. i iz got Woof Solicitors on speed dial if not...

Regards,
Doglet

iz birthday letter to mum!

Dear Mum

iz sorry hav taken me so long to write, Big Lady incessantly tiptaptiptap on computer, make it difficult Doglet get a look in, iz can only assume she expecting phonecall from Mark Zuckerberg any min now say "i iz pay you one million dollars or whole fabric of Facebook collapse without you".

you iz ask how iz go training of Big Lady. tbh sometimes i iz do wonder if she really understand what we iz doing here, FGS iz not hard, but iz hav patience. 

she RECALL iz not BAD, but sometimes she stand on FAR OFF other side of field shout for help when clearly i iz going in other direction to chase car/dog/interesting leaf/unidentified manky stuff.  she need try harder keep up as tbh iz bit bleedin annoying having keep come back, find she, point in right way what doglet iz going.

she AGILITY iz good.  iz totally got hang of give doglet biscuit when i iz climb up ramp, go through tunnel, jump through hoop etc, well done.

iz now excellent at waking up middle night lift me onto she bed even though iz perfectly capable jumping up but iz sometimes a bit tiredy little legs by 2am and PREFER help.

iz expert at ENTERTAINMENT OF DOGS.  Iz partickly appreciate v funny shouty dance she iz done when iz did chew to pieces tasty suede shoe what she left in box on stairs behind locked babygate (iz was CHALLENGE!!!)

some days she hav grumpy face say "oh i iz had ENUFF of going out bleedin mud and rain", but once iz out in fields, and wind or sun in hair, doing little dancings to music on ipod, say "you iz alright, little doglet friend" and i iz know all iz well.

Love you, Mum,

Doglet x