Reconsider the diet

Dear Big Lady

Iz sorry bout upchuck on white sofa, upchuck on white carpet, upchuck on you best non-washable jumper what had fall on floor.

Iz not sure what means: "why can't bloody throw up on bloody tiled floor what easy to clean instead go all way into bloody lounge FGS" but Doglet iz v apologeticking.

Iz think most probably not got nuffink to do with inhale food in 3 secs but iz more likely upchucking iz allergy to new YUK LOW FAT dogfood.  what iz LOW FAT?

Iz not understand.

IZ TASTE LIKE BLEEDIN CRAP

Regards,
Doglet