the forming of a new connection

Dear Big Lady

Look, iz actually quite busy here, iz something you wanted or just here ask for more advice about you writing from Doglet what iz something of expert re. journalism?

Actually while you loitering, iz prob good time let you know, Doglet iz been reading up on history of trade union and decided work together with other schnauzers form cooperative slash pressure group slash underground resistance.

first demand is more sosij. we iz tell you others once generally poor conditions for schnauzers here more favourable.

Regards
Doglet

Professional rivalry

Dear Big Lady

I iz understand you iz sneakily while go tiptaptiptap on computer been writing so called "column" for newspaper.  

Iz not at ALL sure room in this house for two writers and just want to make clear that any let up in typing up Doglet's letters iz will be regarded as animal cruelty and deal with appropriately. 

Iz hav sought legal advice from Woof Solicitors what say suggest ensure clear firewallsiz and iron curtainsiz between you so called "writing" and Doglet important literary work. 

Alternatively Doglet iz would be willing, at you expense, hire PA do typing fromheretoforeforward. Iz suggest Ruby the Beautiful & Wonderful Dogsitter All Hail (amen) iz be ideal candidate; please ask she bring sosijs and typewriter.

Good luck with you...."attempt".

Regards,
Doglet

Entrapment

Dear Big Lady

When you iz say "oh doglet, shall we iz go out for lovely long walk, you iz can roll in mud and leaves and twiggy bitses and pieces and you iz can sniff as much disgusting unidentified manky stuff as you please" you iz did NOT AT ANY POINT mention you iz was planning give me bleedin' bath afterwards.

Iz been on phone to Woof Solicitors what say iz entrapment and cruel & unusual punishment.  So take this as warning.

If you iz need me again today, I iz shall be sulking under eyebrowziz looking glum.

Regards
Doglet

The Big Cheese

Dear Big Lady

I notice you iz have some cheese for lunch.

Iz not sure what you mean by "a triumph of hope over experience, Missy" so iz will just continue sit here staring at you bit longer, OK?

Kind regards
Doglet

where is Jeeves when you need him?

Dear Big Lady

Even though door iz be open for 2 hours and Doglet iz not show any desire or interest in going outdoorziz, now you iz close door go gym (which by the way iz no fun for Doglet cannot sit on you yoga mat and get in way chewing random unidentified manky stuff keep you company), I iz propose sit here look extremely bleedin' downcast and forlornly gaze out window wishing could go outdoorziz.

Iz will be here when you get back. Feeling sad.  Just in case you iz wondering.  

Regards
Doglet

PS iz they sell sosijs at gym?  please bring back if so as cold weather make doglet extremely peckish.