Professional rivalry

Dear Big Lady

I iz understand you iz sneakily while go tiptaptiptap on computer been writing so called "column" for newspaper.  

Iz not at ALL sure room in this house for two writers and just want to make clear that any let up in typing up Doglet's letters iz will be regarded as animal cruelty and deal with appropriately. 

Iz hav sought legal advice from Woof Solicitors what say suggest ensure clear firewallsiz and iron curtainsiz between you so called "writing" and Doglet important literary work. 

Alternatively Doglet iz would be willing, at you expense, hire PA do typing fromheretoforeforward. Iz suggest Ruby the Beautiful & Wonderful Dogsitter All Hail (amen) iz be ideal candidate; please ask she bring sosijs and typewriter.

Good luck with you...."attempt".

Regards,
Doglet